How do you know it’s time to trust someone? What causes you to choose to stop trusting someone? Trust lies at the heart of a strong relationship. When trust is lost we feel betrayed, angry and taken for granted.
But what is trust? It’s a belief we have that we can ‘place out trust’ in someone. We have enough evidence to allow that to happen and so we start to open up and confide in that person. There is an element of uncertainty and risk involved as whoever you are trusting may not always live up to the faith you are putting in them.
Many parents of teenagers will identify with choosing to trust our child to be able to spend the weekend in the house on their own without throwing a wild party. You may feel somewhat anxious as you drive away from the house and have a strong urge to ring up and “check how things are going”. There is a risk involved, they may let you down.
Do you see trust as something that must be earned or negotiated? You may trust other adults according to how much you know of their character, attitudes and behaviour.
People have different meanings for trust. Our ability to trust may be affected by our upbringing and past experiences too. It is very easy within a marriage to assume you view trust in the same way as your partner, but assumptions can be misleading and lead to disappointment and hurt when things go wrong.
Most people want to place the responsibility for trust in a relationship on someone else. They base their trust on how someone acts towards them. I’ve discovered that trust in a relationship doesn’t start with someone else. It starts with you and how willing you are to open up and allow the other person in. If you’re having trust issues in a relationship, examine your own thoughts, feelings and issues from the past that have yet to be healed first before looking outward to blame someone else. I also suggest taking a step forward into love instead of fear every chance you get.
Talk about your doubts
Don’t let the fact that your previous relationship broke down be the reason why a future relationship breaks down. If you are having trust issues in a new friendship or relationship, talk these through with your new friend or partner. Explain to them why you are having the trust issues you are and explain your feelings to them. You may be surprised and find that your new friend or partner actually understands what you are going through!
It is going to be impossible to move on with your life after a divorce if you cannot trust anyone again. Trust is an essential element to any healthy relationship. Trust means you know you care for someone, and that they care for you. So make sure you have a healthy loving relationship in the future by learning to trust again.
and something else i took from here > http://www.ojar.com/view_2809.htm
There’s no one answer to this question. More than anything else, time heals your wounds…which is why many people say that one should remain single for an extended period of time before getting involved with anyone new…theoretically, the time alone allows you to get rid of the baggage from the former relationship and to feel emotionally whole again.
That said, I think it takes different people different lengths of time to recover. If you’re finding that your relationship, despite being loving and supportive, is causing you stress, that might mean that you simply aren’t ready to be involved with someone new yet…or it might just mean that you should back off a bit and slow down.
I myself got into a new relationship fairly soon after splitting up with my ex, and the way I dealt with the trust issue/fear of getting hurt again was to move very slooooowly. If you take the time to get to know someone realy well before letting your guard down, it feels safer.
Happy new year 2009 people. I’ve experienced and seen quite a number of 8s this year; multiple 8s in my bank account, 88888 on my bike mileages, 8 dollars, etcetc.. As previous year was terrible, God is making this year good for me! I know it. Because he tells me things that ‘i can’t see’ and make me aware of what is happening around.